Monthly Archives: May 2018

May, June, and sometimes December are the months when students finish their high school and college careers. It’s definitely a time for families to celebrate. This month and in June we will celebrate members of the family who graduated in 2017 and who graduate in 2018.

To all graduates, congratulations!

Sandra “Sand” Gay Tyson is the daughter of the late Mary Whitehurst and David C. Gay, youngest son of Pa Bob Gay  and Ma Lillie Parker Gay . About her graduation from East Carolina University on May 5, 2018, Sand writes, “It was an honor to have my siblings, sibling-in-laws, spouse, grandchildren, Chris and Torie, watch me walk across the stage at Minges 05/05 to receive my Masters of Science in Substance Abuse and Clinical Counseling.  Thanks, guys, for being there through it all and special thanks to Dad for always being there.  To God be the glory.”

Joshua “Josh” Gay is the son of Gwendolyn J. Gay and grandson of the late Lucille Gay Blow, daughter of Pa Bob Gay and Ma Lillie Parker Gay. About his graduation from North Carolina Central University and receiving his Bachelor of Arts degree in English, Josh writes: ” I am grateful and humble to be put in the opportunities I have been put in. All glory to God for my abilities and talents, and I hope to make my family name proud. I am going to Elon University for my Master’s program. My life is only going up from here. God Bless and Thank you.”

We should thank Uncle Dave for pushing for greater family awareness about health, wellness, longevity, and causes of death.

Few of us want to talk about all of these health-related topics. Everyone agrees that how well you are, how long you will live, and what you will die of should maybe stay in private conversation–or, with your doctor/health provider.

Not anymore. Knowing more about yourself and your family’s health history might add more years of good health. Knowing more might even provide a greater awareness of diseases you may experience.

At the 2017 reunion dinner, Uncle Dave challenged members of the family to learn about diseases that are prevalent in the family. He cited high blood pressure, diabetes, and kidney problems. Uncle Dave said that the members of the Gay family died from strokes, diabetes, and heart attacks.

    Uncle Dave speaking at the July 2017 Gay-Parker reunion dinner

On May 19, 2018, Uncle Dave used his own health challenges of having to receive dialysis treatment as a means of sharing health awareness information about kidney disease and dialysis to family and community.

Here are facts from death certificates and recollections of family members which support the somber statements Uncle Dave made about our family health and the pursuit of wellness.

Pa Bob’s mother, Arie Gay, is believed to have died from stroke and heart attack at age 44. This conclusion is based on statements Pa Bob made when he shared recollections about his mother Arie Gay. He recalled that she had heavily swollen feet at the end of a day of working in the fields and that she would faint. No death certificate is available for Arie Gay.

Pa Bob Gay had one sister and four brothers. Pa Bob and his siblings died from the following causes according to death certificates found in Ancestry.com and from Pitt County Courthouse.

Stroke

Heart attack

Kidney failure

Pneumonia and respiratory arrest

Suicide

Accident (drowning)

Ages at death: 1-3 years old, 43, 46, 66, 76, and (81)Pa Bob’s age at his death

Ma Lillie Parker Gay’s mother, Jenny Parker Moore, died from infection and tetanus/ lockjaw. Ma Lillie’s mother Jenny was 37 when she died.

Ma Lillie had two brothers.

Ma Lillie and her brothers died from the following causes according to death certificates:

Stroke

Heart Attack

Ages at death: 42, 50, and (87) Ma Lillie’s age at the time of her death

Pa Bob and Ma Lillie had 10 children in the years of 1915 through 1935.

According to death certificates in Ancestry.com, eight of Ma Lillie and Pa Bob’s 10 children died from the following causes:

Stroke

Kidney disease

Heart Attack

Epilepsy

Car accident

Suicide

Infancy–pneumonia/respiratory disease

Their ages at their deaths were as follows:: three months, 17, 45, 56, 81, 83, 88, and 96.

One thing is clear: everyone in the family needs to follow Uncle Dave’s lead of becoming more aware about health, wellness, along with the health history of the Gay-Parker family.

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Today, Emmanuel Community Unison Baptist Church  sponsored a kidney disease walk and awareness event.

Called ‘Walk-With-Dave” or the “Dave Walk,”  this year’s event continues  Uncle Dave’s desire to educate people about kidney disease and the process of participating in dialysis. Participants will made a $10 donation, which will be given to a local dialysis center.  Uncle Dave has been a dialysis patient for 10 years.
Here’s the video that was shown on WITN Channel 7 on Friday, May 18, 2018.

“Ma” Lillie Parker Gay (1897-1984)

On this Mother’s Day, May 13, 2018, we pause to look briefly at the genealogy of “Ma” Lillie Parker Gay, wife of Robert Bob Gay, mother of 10 children, eight of whom lived well into adulthood; grandmother of 68, great grandmother of more than a 100, a great-great grandmother, and great-great great grandmother. Presently, only her two youngest children,Robert James (aka Bishop Gay, Uncle Rob) and David Clinton (aka Deacon Gay and Uncle Dave) survive.

Happy Mother’s Day, “Ma” Lillie.

In tribute, let’s go back as far as we can to take a look at the Parker family.

According to the 1880 United States Federal Census, Dempsey Parker is married to Viney Barrett Parker. Dempsey is 26 years old, and Viney is 28. They have six children: Buck, 11; Maggie, 9; Mary, 6; Elizabeth, 4; Jenny, 3; and Buddy, 1. The family is listed as living in the Farmville, Pitt County, North Carolina area. Dempsey is described as head of the house, a farm worker, and both Dempsey and Viney were born in the 1850’s, over 10 years before slavery had ended. Both answered yes for the Cannot Read and Cannot Write questions on the 1880 Census. In this census, Lillie Parker Gay’s mother, Jenny Parker, is three years old.

Twenty years later, in the 1900 United States Federal Census, the Parker(now spelled Parken) family has faced several changes and additions. First, Dempsey Parker is deceased; Viney is now identified as a 50 year old widow. Interestingly, Viney reveals that she and Dempsey were married in 1888 and lived as a married couple for 12 years, which leads to the conclusion that Dempsey died just before the 1900 census was taken.

In the 1900 US Federal Census, Lillie Parker Gay is listed as a three-year-old granddaughter of Viney Parker, who is now the head of the household and has 10 living children.

The Viney Barrett Parker (Parken) household had 16 members. Viney’s children are Margrit, 30; Mary, 29; Jennie, 26 (Ma Lillie Parker Gay’s mother); Daniel, 21; Dunprey, 19; Julius, 17; Laura, 12, and Clara, 10.

Viney’s grandchildren who lived with her were Susan, 13; Florence, 9; Edward, 8; Blaney, 6 (Ma Lillie Parker Gay’s brother), Lillie, 3; Mary, 3, and Jarvis, 2.

“Ma” Lillie also later appeared in the 1920, 1930, and 1940 censuses as wife and mother in the Gay household headed by “Pa” Robert Bob Gay.

Mother’s Day is an excellent occasion to pause and pay homage to Ma Lillie Parker Gay, the matriarch of the Bob Gay-Lillie Parker family.